Friday, June 27, 2008

Control Freak

Two distressing things happened in my dreams last night.

1) Some girl moved in to our house and started rearranging everything!!! She opened the cupboard and was like, "Well, I'm going to put the bowls here. That's better." And it made me soooo angry! It wasn't just the fact that she changed everything, but that she did it so matter-of-factly, like she was positive she was making improvements and helping us. I think the dream has something to do with my control issues because right now I feel like I have no control over things at work and even at home. I've decided to let go about the messes all around the house because I'm no one's mother/housekeeper/nanny. Also, I'm trying to develop a system for when utilities are paid late, but I just get, "I have the money. You'll get it tomorrow." Instead of, "Yes, Nina, 10% DOES sound fair. Thanks for asking!"

2) In another dream, Steve and I decided to rent our own little house, just a couple blocks away from our current one, but also stay in this one. When I realized that I wasn't up for paying rent and utilities on two different properties, I freaked out, but Steve kept trying to convince me that it was a good idea. I woke up before anything was resolved. What does this one mean? Probably exactly how I'm feeling in real life: I want to move out of here and live with just Steve, but know it will mean spending more money (on rent, utilities, furniture, etc.) and I just can't bring myself to do it right now.

Sigh.

1 comment:

Bobbie said...

Blehhhh.... how frustrating! I hope you start feeling a bit more in control : /