Monday, October 29, 2007

With Open Arms

As the passenger on the drive home from New Jersey on Sunday (yes, I was there again), I did a lot of thinking. I thought about Steve, his friends, work, my goals, my friends, and my family, and for the first time since moving here from Boston, I felt comfortable with my choice.

Sure, good (nay, GREAT) things have happened since the move, but there was always some part of me filled with doubt and, maybe not regret, but an aftertaste of the move that was not so tasty. I was in very bad shape our first couple of weeks down here. Without friends, a job, a car, or a real sense of direction (physical direction/knowledge of the area), I became dependent on Steve and was overly sensitive and extra insulted when he wouldn't ask if I wanted anything from the store or introduce me to people at social events (this still bothers me, but he's improving and I have taken these responsibilities into my own hands more, too).

This weekend, after House of Blues, Steve and I hung out with a couple he's been friends with for a long time. I've also known them for a couple years, but not much more deeply than what would come from an occasional visit to Steve's hometown. On Saturday, though, these two were so hospitable, for the first time ever, I didn't feel like Steve's accessory that certain hometown friends may or may not take notice of.

The next day, after staying at our friends' apartment in Ocean City, Steve and I took a stroll on the boardwalk and enjoyed some quality time together. Sitting on the beach, I was so satisfied with how I had chosen to spend my weekend, and, ultimately, my life. The decision to move to Philadelphia made more sense than it ever had, and while I miss my friends in Boston, and I still wonder "What if?" when thinking about the option to move closer to my family (and other friends) in California, I've accepted and embraced my new life with Journey-like enthusiasm.

Just yesterday, a certain co-worker asked me where I consider home. And while the answer will always be, in part, California, this weekend was the turning point for the answer to be, in part, here.


Bobbie said...


[Journey = the suck]
[I love you anyway.]

Madmom said...

Oh Nini, that is great (however, I still think 5712 N. 9th is your home), growing up is hard but some people do it well. You are one of those people. Love you!